Writings & Essays
about eSSAYS
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sELECTED Poetry
Bunny Lunch
Sitting in my car
I spot a crow poking at a dead animal
I want to go over to see what kind of dead animal it is
But realize I wouldn’t want any nosy [human] looking at my dinner
I know if I approach it, the crow will give me the evil eye
And besides, what am I going to do with a dead carcass?
The crow seems very content
As I start heading out, I look over and a bald eagle has replaced the crow
People are taking videos of the bald eagle, but it doesn’t give a shit
The carcass is a bunny.
Dandelions
Sunglasses like a question mark
And the Mysteries that sang 98 tears
Green grass
Dandelions that are in full bloom
Nobody takes pictures of them
I see people taking pictures of cherry blossoms
Looking up and pointing their cellphones
Down With COVID
There’s not a word for my condition
Jim Carrey is sixty and sexy today
A little bit of salsa, especially on boiled eggs, is fantastic, I think.
Rumi would concur!
Rumi didn’t believe in the soul!
Yesterday I tried to take a negative Covid test but ended up being positive again.
Do animals get Covid?
I see small dogs licking and eating crap off the street and they don’t seem to get Covid.
Cats just seem oblivious to the whole situation!
My kid seems only interested in doing donuts, buying gushers, (whatever that is!) eating canned pineapple, playing video games, and talking shit on the internet.
Every time I eat salsa I think of my new friend Roderick, who made homemade salsa and sold it to workers on my job on the ferries
He’s in Poland with his Polish girl-friend.
Hopefully making salsa especially for the Poles.
Life is too short not to enjoy salsa
Haven’t seen any animals today.
Hope to see some crows.
Foggy Morning
Out of the corner of my eye
The bright sun illuminating the cargo ship
Purple dots and shadows from sunshine
Pelicans and cormorants feeding on herring in early January
Fog exactly like a Sherlock Holmes film
Quiet rumblings
No fog horns
Got Mail from Canada
A small package with twenty colour slides my father took of me as a kid
I love them!
I have butterflies!
Me in a bathtub with flippers
Time is constantly slipping away…
You can’t stop it.
Tried to love myself today
Was hard because, I don’t know
I never believe it will help
Watched television with Tristan.
I think he’s as lonely as me.
I hear plastic crackling from the kitchen
I think it’s a full moon, but I bet I’m wrong.
Need to be kind.
Drag the old Christmas tree of the block and leave it beside a wooden fence with a sign that says, “whoever leaves garbage here I’m calling the cops!”
Calling the cops!
Cops won’t even stop a crazy side show!
Does she think I’m going to be arrested for leaving a Christmas tree?
Cuz I know the city always picks up junk left.
It feels good to feel young at heart!
Saw a great looking Raven today.
Other Voices
Here I go
Tuesday is listening to other voices, not my own
I had to wrest the voices from outside
away from my voice
Even though the voices outside were from Iggy Pop
Talking about the song Raw Power
Gotta let my own voices in me speak about my life
Pelican
I point my beak downward in repose, bagpipes or Dizzy Gillespie’s cheeks is maybe one comparison
Usually flying and gliding in single file of up to fifteen
As a bird I feel like a Great Dane to other dog species
Brown, grey.
Water
Water
Floating
Swimming
Trying to let go
Watching others swim with fins on
Is it a fade?
Bubbles, bubbles
No Fun
Should I get a plastic martini light for my window even though I don’t partake of the sauce?
What’s with some people?
Do people just turn into complete no fun old farts?
What melts your butter?
Can’t sweat anymore.
Can’t say fuck.
Can’t go goofy.
Can’t go to a Goth Club.
Dream dating Jane Austen and go to a Swiss Ski Resort to a rave.
Can’t swear out the window to someone who’s being a complete jerk and cuts you off in
traffic.
What’s with sovereign narcissists?
I see the attraction of partaking in a sideshow spinning, smelling, burning rubber, exhaust.
Dehydration
Dehydration
Standing on my feel for six hours
Hot weather
No clouds except chem-trails
Very pretty
Don’t know what to think of that conspiracy.
Slowly like a dripping faucet
the Trump supporters are
quietly brooding,
waiting until the next cruelty.
Watched the Hammer production,
The Skull, this past Friday.
Is it my nostalgia for a past memory
of my life in the winter?
Life was cars. winter, gravel.
Always having to wear a jacket.
Fear of slipping on ice.
The underlying depression of wanting something more.
Maybe the desire to desire something more.
My addiction to alcohol was horrible,
And like a friend.
Numbing.
The cold fucked with me; made me tense.
Longing for outside.
Birds, even seagulls were fine.
Anything except that crunchy,
silent gray-white hardness, occasionally softness,
mostly miserable windy cold that muffled you.
I loved blizzards as a kid.
The more powerful the better.
Feeling invincible almost.
Relentlessly annoyed at the weakness of the threat on my body.
My body was my master when I was twelve.
My brain was depressed most of the time, but my body was a muscle of fuck you.
Sunday
Howiling wind
Outside and invisible killer awaits
The government doesn’t care about the plague
Because that’s what it is
Where do we go from here?
Co-workers without jobs
have to go on unemployment insurance again.
Sirens in the distance.
I have five or six bucks, yeah.
Sirens, wind, beating heart.
There was a man who was afraid of the government
because it was authoritarian.
To witness the greed and evil
Billionaires telling millionaires what to think,
and then telling us is no American way.
Christmas stockings still up.
Early Fall
black dorsal fins
drifting in pods
early evening
calm
herring running in late
October
six reddish orange
star fish
off over stern
Pinkish
Blueish glow to the East
sun rising
5:40 am
fog still slate grey
passengers oblivious
heads down
staring at their phones
Fog feels like a blindfold
Greg Auck died
today
he lived in a Pink house
with Pink leatherette couches
his sister introduced me to vinyl
she was sixteen, I was twelve
He flew a single engine airplane
to my wedding that should never have happened,
through the Rockies. I don’t know what I was thinking
sea birds
satyr
cat, peaches and yogurt
goats on a hill
plums
Blue snow flakes
thunderstorms maybe tomorrow
talking about Huskies
staring straight ahead…
balancing head on wrist
Fog moving
Farallons on a clear day
crab cakes and Peter Falk
Hummingbirds and sweet peas
Black striped
dragonfiles drifting by
Black plastic… bag
stick o
to the hot asphalt
soft
rolling wind
red and white flowers
Helicopter circling above
Fog off the coast
Squeaking rubber… seagulls
4th of July fireworks
always foggy
waiting to spot the racing seabirds
Pelicans float by
my feet hurt
green bursts of fireworks
slow silver tracers
ascending
crescent moon. Nymphs singing
chubby legged teenagers
wait for hot chocolate
bells and fog horns
fog thickens
fireworks just become colour
Birds so close the the ferry
you could almost stick
out your hand and touch
them
floating past
Diving head first
into the freezing water
Maybe thirty. Maybe
forty Grey Pelicans
Each with a yellow tuff
of feathers on their heads
5/31/2024
At 13 I would go to school so drunk they would call the police. They never caught me! I
would run away, hide under cars, sleep in cars, and recover! I was an athlete, too! I guess I
could run even when I was drunk! At 13 I could get away with it!
I never drank when I was competing. But at 16 we were taking a bus to an event and I was
drinking Southern Comfort. My coach caught me! He took it away and never brought it up
again.
I mean I drank since I was 12. What’s weird is that they might have figured it out if my family
were drinkers, but my parents weren’t drinkers. Only at Christmas.
There would be cases of liquor around- gifts for my Dad’s business. I don’t know when I
went off the rails. A couple of my friends died when I was 14. We didn’t mourn them.
My mother was never present. She was from a family where her father was fucked up from
being in the First World War. They never talked about anything.
But I’m smart enough to know that if my grandfather died in the 1st WW my mother wouldn’t
have been born, so I wouldn’t have been born. I’m grateful for my life.
I was the only one in my family that read books. Someone brought the book home,
Thornbirds. I read it, but I read everything I could get my hands on.
My parents were told to by their kids encyclopedias, so they did and I read them all. I’d
choose the books according to the letters of the alphabet I was moved to read. J? L? That’s
why they put me in advanced classes. I was good at history.
Get this! It shows how out of it my mother was. Maybe she was taking valium or something.
So I’d make my peanut butter sandwich at lunch, home from school. I’d take it downstairs
and watch a movie, and never return to school! My mom wouldn’t even notice or care!
Then I’d go back to school very late after lunch.
I’d watch Hitchcock’s Lifeboat, or Lord of the Flies. They had a big impression on me. There
were really good movies on TV in those days. I’d steal a cigarette and smoke it downstairs
in
grade 7! Nobody cared! Nobody would say, “it smells like smoke down here.” They would
even come downstairs. That was when they gave me my brother’s room. I had a lot of time
to think about stuff
